On the evening of Thursday, June 13th I posted these words to my facebook timeline: “The kitten of fear and anxiety has curled up and taken permanent residence in my chest. Occasionally it stretches and claws it’s way up my throat.” It was a bizarre thing to post, but I was feeling a bizarre kind of fear. Most of the time my nerves take the form of violent trembling, light-headedness and rapid breathing I have to fight to slow. Not Thursday evening. Not the entirety of last week, actually. Instead I was unable to sleep, the pain in my chest a distraction only from my nausea. I’ve been to the New England UMC Annual Conference almost every year since I was twelve years old but I had never felt like this before.